I think that one long summer vacation is much better than a lot of short vacations. There are a few reasons why I thought like this.
First of all, the children have to learn outside of school. If they are at the outside, they could learn fishing or helping their parents. At school, they have only weekend holiday per a week. So they don’t know what they could do outside of school. I think they could study by their own pace on the school vacation. They could find their hobby. I think it takes long time.
More over especially for children, in the summer vacation, a lot of creatures are born. This is good for children to know the importance of one’s life. For example, the cicada, that is born into the soil. On their larval periods, they are living only into the soil. It takes 7 or 8 years. However, after coming out of the soil, they will come out to the ground. But they could live only 2 weeks. This is one of a few examples, in which children can observe the nature and their creatures.
Last, one long summer vacation give the children that to spend time with their family. On usually, the children could eat breakfast and dinner with their family at family table. But only on weekends. However, if they have a long summer vacation, they could spend all the time with their family. What’s the more, they could travel to far away with their family like abroad.
For these reason, I think the children need one long summer vacation.
advcomp said,
December 3, 2007 @ 5:03 pm
> I think that one long summer vacation is much better than a lot of short vacations.
a lot of –> a few/ several
> There are a few reasons why I thought like this.
why I think so
> First of all, the children have to learn outside of school.
can learn outside the school as much as or more than in class
> If they are at the outside, they could learn fishing or helping their parents.
use of ‘the’ outside is awkward, to say the least
> At school, they have only weekend holiday per a week.
On school days,
for each week
> So they don’t know what they could do outside of school.
outside the school
> I think they could study by their own pace on the school vacation.
In vaction, they could
study on their own pace
> They could find their hobby.
They could also find or extend their hobbies
> I think it takes long time.
It takes
I think –> not needed
advcomp said,
December 3, 2007 @ 5:06 pm
> More over especially for children, in the summer vacation, a lot of creatures are born.
Moreover — one word
The logic is awkward
creatures are born for children???
> This is good for children to know the importance of one’s life.
one’s –> whose?
> For example, the cicada, that is born into the soil.
where is the verb — Use of for example — in a sentence
> On their larval periods, they are living only into the soil.
> It takes 7 or 8 years.
> However, after coming out of the soil, they will come out to the ground.
they stay in the soil for 7 or 8 years before they come out
> But they could live only 2 weeks.
But whey they are out of the soil, they live only for two weeks.
> This is one of a few examples, in which children can observe the nature and their creatures.
OK
advcomp said,
December 3, 2007 @ 5:10 pm
> Last, one long summer vacation give the children that to spend time with their family.
Use of ‘Last’ is awkward, here.
Last but not the least important is that one long summer…
give –> missing a 3rd person singular s for the verb
> On usually, the children could eat breakfast and dinner with their family at family table.
On usually –> not English
together with their family
> But only on weekends.
During school days, they can spend time with the family longer on weekends, as their parents might be busy at work and the children themselves with their homework
> However, if they have a long summer vacation, they could spend all the time with their family.
OK
> What’s the more, they could travel to far away with their family like abroad.
What is better
travel far away with their family,
like abroad –> awkward here
travel far away with their family, on domestidc and even trips abroad
> For these reason, I think the children need one long summer vacation.
these + reasonS
advcomp said,
December 3, 2007 @ 5:11 pm
It is getting more readable, but I am afraid you need to tighten up the logic to argue for a long summer vacation.